Well, what does work then? The only thing that works (if we really practice) is a desire not to have something for myself but to support all life, including individual relationships. Now you may say, "Well, that sounds nice, I'll do that!" But nobody really wants to do that. We don't want to support others. To truly support somebody means that you give them everything and expect nothing. You might give them your time, your work, your money, anything. "If you need it, I'll give it to you."Love expects nothing. Instead of that we have these games: "I am going to communicate so our relationship will be better," which really means, "I'm going to communicate so you'll see what I want." The underlying expectation we bring to those games insures that relationships won't work. If we really see that, then a few of us will begin to understand the next step, of seeing another way of being. We may get a glimpse of it now and then: "Yes, I can do this for you, I can support your life and I expect nothing. Nothing."
Relationships Don't Work - from Everyday Zen: Love & Work by Charlotte Joko Beck from Amazon com
Tuesday 10 June 2008
Love expects nothing
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1 comment:
sounds pretty one-sided though... ought not love anticipate reciprocation? has not the giver the right to at least expect their gifts to be appreciated? not the right to dangle that expectation over the other, of course, but would it not be unreasonable to postulate that one ought to pour endlessly into a black hole without any return on their investment?
dunno, having been summarily shoved off and dismissed of late by its only lifeline to God, to hope, to reality and sanity, consigned to the oubliette by the ONE person it relied upon because THEY promised never to leave it, never to abandon it ... it bes very cynical now. and not likely to trust again, ever.
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